The Ingredients of Emotional Intelligence : Self-awareness: the cornerstone of emotional intelligence-a capacity to recognize your feelings as they occur Emotional control: an ability to manage your emotional reactions, control impulse, and to recover from life's upsets Self-motivation: skill at using your emotions in the service of a goal, staying hopeful despite setbacks Empathy: emotional sensitivity to others; a talent for tuning into others' feelings, and reading their unspoken messages Handling relationships: grace in dealing with others-strong social skills are the key to popularity, leadership, and interpersonal effectiveness How do you measure up? Science shows that we each have a basic temperament with emotional "set points" for each of these capacities . . . but that's not the whole story. The brain is extraordinarily flexible. Your initial strengths and weaknesses may be determined by your brain circuitry, but each of these five skills can be improved. Through conscious effort and learning, we can increase our emotional intelligence at any age.