A How-To Guide On Internet Dating By A Real Idiot is a collection of short messages and stories that are fun nonsense for internet dating. Are your eyes about to melt out of your head if you read one more 'What are you looking for?' message? Are you thinking of spending your next weekend burning your skin off so you no longer have to ask someone how their weekend is? What are you up to? How's your day? How's it going? How 'bout the weather? Ahhhh! Try something like this: 'I think I love you. But I just broke up with my girlfriend who is also my cousin. And geez, Thanksgiving was a mess. My aunt/possible mother-in-law had a conniption. And fainted right into the sweet potato pie. My cousin/girlfriend used to eat sweet potato pie off me and then would pretend it was Thanksgiving, giving thanks that we weren't brother and sister. Anyhow, I don't know why she frets so much as my sister's taken. She's married to my brother.'